What are the odds of facing a trauma 3x in 1 city where you don’t live
That chance is very small, even 2 trauma’s are unusual and 3 have an absolutely small chance. But It happened to me, and within a time frame of 44 years…
I would like to explain this further.
Anyone who reads my blogs knows that I have now overcome a long list of (ancestral) traumas. I write about this openly, for myself as an outlet and because I enjoy writing. Also for anyone who finds this interesting and might get hope or strength from it. My specialty is the emotional inheritance, words that I came up with as the title for my book that was published in 2019, and is about the traumas that are passed on from generation to generation.
I recently discovered that in 44 years, at the ages of 15, 16 and 58, I have faced a trauma in relation to the city IJsselstein. A city where I have never lived, even far from it. Unbelievable, I thought, how is this possible?
I still don’t have an answer to this.
My 3 traumas in a nutshell
The first trauma in relation to this city was when I was 15.
I lived in Lexmond and worked in a snack bar in IJsselstein, where I came into contact with a lover boy. He lived there. Despite warnings from others about him, I couldn’t resist the temptation of his attention for me. As a child, I was damaged and very vulnerable, due to unresolved traumas that were still in my system. The attention I missed from my father….and mother. He did give me attention and one thing led to another. Sexual abuse occurred. Abuse that also occurred in both my families, but mainly in the camps where a number of my relatives (both sides) were interned after WWII. Sexual abuse and other serious assaults also took place here on a daily basis. These traumas were never processed by my family and passed on to later generations and therefore also to me. So somehow I relive similar traumas, I unconsciously attracted similar traumas, and in this case with a lover boy. The body, soul and mind know the path of healing. Something must first be triggered before it can heal!
My time with this lover boy caused me considerable damage, both sexually, with very late, healthy sexual development, 3 horrible births of my children and difficulty with relationships. At the time I did not yet know the consequences and I allowed it.. from child consciousness
and learned to (unconsciously) shield myself by living in a fantasy world until I was 37.
Only there could I deal with my deep wounds, by making up beautiful stories.
My 2nd trauma in relation to this city was when I was 16.
I really wanted a Yamaha 50cc motorcycle with gears. I thought this was cool, girls didn’t ride motorcycles like that back then, and I was always an outsider. A motorcycle would give me freedom, away from home, into the wide world. Unfortunately this didn’t last long…
The reason why I continued to work in that snack bar was because I could save up for this motorcycle. As young as I was…I finally got the money together and bought a nice blue Yamaha motorcycle, fast and beautiful.
After a night out at the Baccarole disco in IJsselstein, I got on my motorcycle and drove back home. About a 30 minutes ride. Less than 5 minutes later, still in IJsselstein, I had a head-on collision with another motorcycle. We both ended up unconscious. A miracle we were both still alive. The ambulance arrived and I ended up in a wheelchair for six months. The motorcycle was total loss…dream gone. I found this more painful than my physical condition. My physical trauma. Nothing was broken, another miracle, but everything was bruised.
When I started a 4-year training as a psychosocial therapist in 2000, we also learned drawing analysis. One assignment was to draw your parental family when you were about 5 years old. This methodology I also apply in my guidance with people.
Since I had no memories of that time, I drew myself later in life. I had also drawn my motorcycle, very large, with a large red rear light. My teacher Loek Knippels, an expert in drawing analysis, asked me what this red light stood for. I replied something along the lines of love for my motorcycle. But Loek knew better. He said it had something to do with an alarm, something bad, a danger. I couldn’t think of anything else at the time. Can you imagine how much I had suppressed everything? Both the lover boy and the accident….
Only last year (21 years later) I was able to make a connection with the red rear light. It just came out of the blue, as an insight.
Of course I had been working on my childhood pains and transmitted traumas for years, but making the connection… that only came much later.
If I had had more guidance back then, I think I could have worked on the lover boy trauma sooner. This only came many years later, after all, I had a long list of traumas to process. That can’t be all processed at the same time.
The 3rd trauma in relation to this city
This was last year when I and dozens of other entrepreneurs were duped by a company that was located in IJsselstein at the time (now moved). I have written about this before in a blog, but this company helps entrepreneurs with their promotion.
Long story short; For a long time my company was difficult to find online and this cost me unnecessarily money. How I attracted this trauma is a longer story and has to do with an ancestral trauma, when all possessions were taken from both families and they had to start over with nothing, from scratch. Me too, for the 2nd time! Until I would also heal this trauma.
From childhood consciousness to adult consciousness
It is not relevant now to share further content of these 3 traumas and you can also read about this in my other blogs. With this blog, it is more important for me to share about the ‘coincidence’ of 3 times trauma, related to 1 city, where I did not live. I don’t believe in coincidence and I certainly don’t know everything, like now.
How is this possible?
As seen from the emotional inheritance, it could also be due to the city itself, where bad things happened to previous generations. This is not the case with me and my family.
Of course I can identify the traumas themselves.
Or does this mean to me that these 3 traumas have to do with self-esteem? That this still needs attention? And so I continue to learn…
Maybe I don’t need to know this and it is ‘just’ a fact?
What struck me, fortunately, is that I came to process each trauma in an increasingly mature way. That is also the purpose of healthy healing.
I suppressed the first trauma as a child and this only got attention years later. This suppression of pain often caused me to respond to situations from a child’s consciousness and projection onto others…..with all the harmful consequences.
This processing of pains was also healed by talking to my father, sometimes in a childish way with a lot of anger. Later this became softer and I now always try to contact my father out of love.
My sexual development continues to require attention, but there is no pain anymore. I have forgiven the lover boy, but I don’t want to meet him again…
The 2nd trauma of physical pain and loss of my so-called freedom:
I have resolved and processed this in a certain way over the years. In the beginning from childhood consciousness, through struggle. The how is not relevant at the moment.
Now I know that inner freedom lies within yourself and not in matter or status.
I was able to cope with the 3rd trauma by feeling the pain. I knew and I know that this is the only way. To look at it and deal with it from an adult consciousness!
By the way, these were also traumas that my grandparents experienced and passed on to me (and my sister). It was now up to me/us to heal this, so that the passing on stops with us! That’s why I attracted certain painful situations until I started paying attention to them.
Warm regards,
Monique Angèle
Comments are welcome at praktijkhappyworld@gmail.com